


Hopes and Fears

by SamJoinedtheReconCorps



Series: A Flame in the Shadows [19]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Light Angst, M/M, Political Negotiations, Worry, post ep 90, soft looks, spoilers for ep 97
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:20:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23270875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamJoinedtheReconCorps/pseuds/SamJoinedtheReconCorps
Summary: Essek and the Mighty Nein head to the Lucid Bastion to share their findings with the Bright Queen.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, Leylas Kryn | The Bright Queen/Quana Kryn
Series: A Flame in the Shadows [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1648909
Comments: 14
Kudos: 117





	Hopes and Fears

**Author's Note:**

> aaaalrighty folks, this one came around a little quicker than I expected, but hey!! that's a good thing!! here's the next part of the series!!
> 
> i had a lot of fun writing it, like idk these high stakes convos are stressful to watch, fun to interpret and give a Shadowgast spin to ;)
> 
> I really hope you guys like it :))

It doesn’t take long for Essek to return, rejoining them as Beau laughs at Jester’s pout, miming Sprinkle going towards the light - “What does the light mean?”

“I did not see any mark on the back of his neck, but,” Essek looks down, deep in thought. “So, it is curious, if - if this is the assumption that perhaps this Obann figure had him under his control, there would be this mark, you say?” Yasha shrugs in response. “Since it’s not there, it's a possibility that either it was removed, or perhaps there was other magic involved in erasing a trace.”

Yasha looks troubled as she agrees, “It could have been something else.”

“Was the, ah, was the mark forcefully removed from you or anything?” Essek asks her.

“Oh, it was, actually,” Jester answers.

“That could be the difference,” Essek muses. “But,” he sighs.

“Hmm, certainly explains a few things though, doesn’t it?” Caduceus adds.

“Does not seem to be in a physical state for future interrogation, necessarily,” Essek says. “And time draws short with the Bright Queen, so if we are to make our cause there, we should definitely get on our way to the Bastion.”

“Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay,” Jester nods. “We’re going to talk to her.”

Essek looks around at the group, and, finding no dissent, begins to lead them out of the Shadowshire and towards the Lucid Bastion above ground.

As they walk, Beau pokes Jester’s arm. “Have we  _ scried _ on Vence here lately?”

“Well, he’s got a thing,” Jester reminds her.

“He’s got protection against that,” Nott clarifies, turning away from where she had been watching Essek curiously.

“Oh, that’s right,” Beau frowns, crossing her arms.

“But I can, I can try it, but it would be really, really hard to  _ scry _ ,” Jester explains.

“No, he’s got something to block it,” Nott says, shaking her head.

Beau jerks her head towards Caleb. “He’s got a thing like he’s got.”

Caleb feels the weight of his amulet where it rests against his chest. “The only way he would not have it is if the Empire has caught up to him,  _ ja? _ ” He can see Essek watching him, a curious look on his face. “So he is either off the grid, or, ah -”

“Like, it's impossible to  _ scry  _ on you?” Jester asks. “It doesn’t like, sometimes work and sometimes doesn’t?”

“For him, I think it is impossible, if - because he is most likely travelling alone,” Caleb explains. He looks down to the ground. “I am a bit compromised because you are all not protected like I am, so.”

“Should we always stay a little bit away from you?” Jester offered.

“I hope not,” Caleb answers, and his voice comes out much quieter, much more fragile than he would have liked. He doesn’t ever want to be far from these people.

Caduceus and Nott give him fond looks, with Fjord, Beau, and Yasha throwing him small smiles. Jester links her arm with his, smiling brightly. Yeah, he really doesn’t want to be away from these people, from this family they’ve created.

* * *

With Essek at the lead, the guards at the Lucid Bastion don’t stop them, although a few do give the Mighty Nein funny looks - probably because they’d come through not too long ago when they first arrived in the Underarches.

He leads them to the antechamber of the Bright Queen’s throne room before pushing open the doors, no waiting necessary. As they approach, climbing up the stairs and towards the center of the raised daises, the heated conversations being held by the council members present begin to die down, and the Bright Queen stands upon seeing them.

Essek raises a hand in greeting before dropping to his knees, approaching all of this as respectfully as possible. Out of the corner of his eye he can see Caleb and Jester do the same and he can only assume that everyone else is following suit.

The sound of the Bright Queen’s staff hitting the polished stone of the ground rings out, effectively silencing everyone.

“Mighty Nein - welcome back,” she greets. “You have been quite the topic of conversation recently.” She raises a hand, a motion for them to rise. “A friend of yours recently stormed our own doors, claiming manipulation in the name of an unseen enemy. A name we recognize, though seldom more than a fairy tale.” She looks around at them now that they’re standing. “To her credit, she holds no benefit I can see in meddling in the affairs of our continent, and staked your names on this warning, which was a persuasive appeal. Enough to stem the tide of blood where it might be earned.” She watches them curiously. “So, our distant ears tell a tale of a battle of another kind, beneath the city, one that you all seem to have, ah, survived in Rexxentrum.” She gives them a smile. “Well done.” The smile drops instantly. “These same ears have also heard of your arrival at the imperial castle, a strange destination for such self-proclaimed expatriates. Explain yourselves.”

Jester and Caduceus whisper something that Essek can’t quite catch, and he almost wants to turn around and shush them, to just please, for once, be on their absolute best behavior. The Bright Queen is furious, and the tide of blood that was stemmed may easily be shed right here if they don’t choose their words carefully.

“We can understand your, um - the way this may have looked. I’m sure it's certainly quite confusing,” Fjord starts, taking the reins of the conversation. “Um, we have been on the trail, as we said before, of these cultists of the Angel of Irons. Our search led us to Rexxentrum, back into the Empire, where we thwarted our foes in an effort, ah, in their efforts to break one of the shackles that was holding a far greater foe - the Chained Oblivion.” He pauses, and when the Bright Queen says nothing he continues, “We toppled some of our quarry, and have uncovered a bit more about your previous inquiries, beacons, the Empire’s involvement, their knowledge of your Luxon.”

The Bright Queen gives a small nod. “We had reason to believe that this beacon is being held by the Cerberus Assembly within the capital of Rexxentrum,” she says.

Essek forces himself to continue looking at her, training his eyes on a spot right above her left eye. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to maintain eye contact right now - not now, of all times.

“Have you confirmed this with your eyes, then?” she asks.

“No,” Veth answers as Fjord elaborates, “We’ve confirmed that it is not within the city of Rexxentrum.”

And they’re not exactly lying, and even though they aren’t doing this for him, they would never do this for him, their reluctance to be forthright with the Bright Queen and their trust in  _ him _ prompts Essek to raise his hand and draw her searching eyes to him.

“My queen, we have, as you know, arrested one of our higher dens,” Essek gestures towards an empty chair on one of the daises, the one where Tasithar usually sat. “And the interrogation has been fruitful.” He swallows hard, and when he drops his gaze he hopes that the Bright Queen interprets it as a respectful gesture. “As much as it hurts us to admit, our very own Taskhand Adeen has -” He forces himself to say it, “Admitted, to the deed, of both giving aid and progressing the interests of this cult of the Chained Oblivion, and was responsible, it seems, for giving our beacons to the Empire in the first place.”

Whispers and gasps immediately erupt around the room, quickly silenced by the Bright Queen as she slams her staff twice against the ground.

Her face is cold. “Indeed. Well then - that reckoning will be something to deal with.”

“Weeell,” Veth draws out at the same time Jester steps closer to Essek.

“But E-essek, tell -” Jester starts, then bows to the Bright Queen. “May I speak, your majesty?”

“Please,” the Bright Queen grants.

“The Angel of Irons cult is well known for mind control,” Jester says, and Essek has to remind himself to control his breathing. “It’s one of the tools that they use the most, um, within their ranks, and w-w-we have reason to believe that some of the people that were doing deeds for them didn’t even do it by their own fruition.”

“Then, pray tell, who is this individual who might have been responsible for influencing the mind of one of our great leaders here?” the Bright Queen asks.

“Well, there was a man working named Obann, who was very high up - I think he was a devil?” Jester begins to explain.

“You had mentioned this figure before,” the Bright Queen recalls.

“Yes, yes,” Jester nods. “He could disguise himself as other people, um, he was controlling, ah, people that we know, um, to do terrible things, and, um, some of his followers were not by choice.” Jester wrings her hands in front of her. “If it’s possible, he - he may have come across your Taskhand and done the same to him.”

“We have reason to believe that your ally was at least under some sort of mind influence,” Veth adds.

“And you had been seeking this Obann, yes?” the Bright Queen inquires, and she doesn’t sound angry, she sounds less cold even, and that makes Essek so, so nervous.

“Yeah, for quite a while,” Fjord confirms.

“He’s a really bad, bad guy,” Jester gets out.

“And how close are you to bringing him to justice?” she asks.

Jester pumps her fist in the air. “That guy’s smooshed.”

“We are happy to report that Obann has been dealt with, quite handily. He has failed at his task and has not only been punished by us, but also the god that he serves,” Fjord elaborates.

“Including some of those that he had control over, breaking free, turning on him, and helping us to destroy him,” Caduceus adds.

The Bright Queen raises a brow. “And these individuals that have been broken free, they renounce the things they’ve done?”

“I don’t know anyone who didn’t,” Caduceus answers.

Then Yasha steps forward, and for a woman who is so intimidatingly tall, she looks tiny, her shoulders pinched nervously. “Um - I was one of those people. Um, and I should hope that if I was ever in the position of judgement, that - I-I didn’t choose to do the things that he had me do.” Her voice is thick with unshed tears that she swallows down, and, in a steadier voice, she continues, “But, we took care of him, and he is now a, a blob.”

Raising a hand, the Bright Queen beckons to Yasha. “Come closer, please.”

Yasha does as told, and she looks even tinier, staring down at the ground as she splits off farther from the group, coming to stand at the foot of the stairs that lead to the Bright Queen’s throne dais.

“And you believe you are, ah, redeemable?” the Bright Queen asks.

The question hits Essek like a blow to the chest, a deep ache settling there.

“I should hope so,” Yasha softly answers.

Essek bites the inside of his cheek.

He certainly hopes so too.

* * *

“Well, my judgement,” the Bright Queen continues, taking her eyes off Yasha, “will stand as it will be, based on what arises.” She gives Yasha a nod. “I thank you for your counsel. As we have no Obann to punish within Rosohna, punishment must still be dealt, with a terrible deed that has been done against us and our people.”

An armored drow woman who sits directly beside the Bright Queen’s throne steps forward. “My queen, I implore you to listen and keep your temperament outside the judgement of law.” Her voice drops, and Caleb barely catches her quiet, “Please.”

For a brief second Caleb worries that the Bright Queen may snap at the woman for speaking so boldly to her, but instead the Bright Queen turns, her face softening. “Of course, it will,” she promises. She gives a small sigh, then turns to Essek. “So, Essek, the prisoner will be ready for judgment tomorrow, I hope? If not sooner.”

“Yes, my queen,” Essek answers. “The prisoner is in a difficult physical state - tomorrow would be best. We can continue our interrogation but the,” he pauses for the briefest of seconds, “confession stands. But hopefully,” he gestures vaguely, “mercy can be considered.”

“Very well,” the Bright Queen nods.

“Ah, if - if we may,” Fjord starts, at the same time Caleb begins to raise his hand to try and get permission to speak.

“There is a - there is a-another issue to be reported,” Caduceus cuts in.

“Yes, we have a further development you will be interested to know,” Caleb speaks up.

“Then please, share it with us,” the Bright Queen prompts.

“Well, as you know, the Empire is in possession of another one of your cherished artifacts,” Caleb says, and he can see he has the Bright Queen’s complete and undivided attention. “They would like to return it to you.”

A silence louder than anything Caleb would have expected settles across everyone, almost deafening in it's void of sound.

The Bright Queen breaks it as she begins to laugh. “Surely you’re jesting.”

“We have had an audience with Dwendal, as you know,” Caleb reminds her. “We are not operatives for the Empire,” Caleb says again, just as he’d said when they first came into the Bright Queen’s throne room. “We stand between two nations, and still desire the very same thing we told you before.” He drops his gaze. “Dwendal and the Assembly are offering to return a beacon to you, and I must confess, we have our suspicions,” he turns to the rest of the group, and Caduceus and Jester nod in agreement. “About their intentions, but I would beg you to delineate between those running the Empire and its people.” Between the killers and the innocent, between those who set flame to homes and those that burn within. 

“We are here to represent the  _ people _ of the Empire, and we would like to seize this opportunity to make amends, not for everything, not for all the wrongs done to you and yours, but a start.” Caleb bows. “And we must tread carefully, your highness, because those at the top, the Assembly especially, I fear are trying to bend this situation to their will, and gain the upper hand against you. And we do not want that to happen,” he tells her, genuine and honest. “We want to use this to end the violence, against their will.” He braces himself for whatever reaction his next words may receive. “I do not serve you -  _ we  _ do not serve you. And we do not serve King Dwendal or the Assembly.” He rushes on, “There is something far worse, something far greater than a nation coming for either of your peoples. Tharizdun is coming.” And as the words leave his lips he knows that it's true, that this mad devourer of old won’t rest, doesn’t need to rest, and it will continue to fight to break free as it breaks people to serve it.

Caleb drops to his knees again, hands on the ground, head bent low, absolutely prostrate and supplicant. “I beg of you to see the greater threat to this world.”

The Bright Queen slams the staff on the ground twice. “Please, no need to, ah, lie there before me.”

“I beg to differ,” Caleb says quietly, but he rises all the same.

She watches him before looking around at the rest of the group. “I cannot lie, I’m very curious as to the circumstances surrounding this sudden offering. But I’m also not interested in discarding an opportunity in retrieving it.” The Bright Queen lapses into silence for a few beats before she glances at Caleb. “I don’t know if I necessarily fear this shadowed name you invoke more than I fear the violence of man - but we want what is ours.” She looks down, deep in thought before she asks, “Do you have any idea what they wish in return for this beacon?”

“Talks of peace,” Beau answers.

“That’s what they say,” Jester confirms.

“They were also coming to terms with treachery within their midst. I think both of you have that in common at the moment, of how this cult has manipulated events,” Caduceus tells her.

“Adeen has his own counterpart on the Empire side,” Beau elaborates. “By the name of Vence. I believe we’ve mentioned him to you in the past.”

Essek raises his hand again, beginning to speak. “This, ah, Vence they speak of is, ah, I believe, closely tied with, ah, the Martinet of the Assembly. So, while we are uncertain how deep that hole goes, the treachery runs to the top within the Empire as well.”

Caduceus spoke up again. “They suddenly find themselves not knowing how much they don’t know. They’re afraid. I think now’s the time to talk.”

“Fear is a powerful motivator,” the Bright Queen comments, raising a brow at Caduceus’ words.

“And always something interesting when it's something that two peoples have in common,” he finishes.

The Bright Queen hums at that, glancing behind her to the drow woman, a general or captain of some sort, who places a gentle hand on the Bright Queen’s shoulder and gives her a stern look. It is a familiarity steeped in intimacy, and suddenly the depth of their relationship hits Caleb and he averts his gaze, feeling as if he’s witnessed something private.

Giving a heavy sigh, the Bright Queen turns to them again. “And where would you like this mediation to take place?”

“We were thinking at sea, actually,” Nott suggests. “A neutral place, ah, away from both the Empire and the Dynasty.”

“Such as?” the Bright Queen asks.

They mention Nicodranas, and the Bright Queen agrees to some stretch of ocean to the south, in between Nicodranas and the White Dawn Lagoon, where the Dynasty will send their ships out to meet in the middle. There’s talk of using mirrors and emissaries to hold the communications, and the Bright Queen holds the condition that the beacon - and Vence, once he is caught - be brought, to be exchanged for Taskhand Adeen Tasithar and an agreement for peace should everything go well. She also warns that at the first sign of danger for anyone that goes under her banner, the talks are off. The threat in her warning is palpable.

“And, while I appreciate what you’ve brought there, and the information you’ve provided, you will not be necessary at this negotiation,” the Bright Queen tells them.

“Aw, man,” Jester pouts.

“It's sort of our thing that we -” Nott starts.

“That was a request at the behest of King Dwendal,” Beau cuts in. “We are your liaisons that Allura mentioned would be reporting to you. I’m afraid we are tasked to see this to the end.”

Caleb speaks up again. “And we are unsure of the Assembly’s intentions. You should not be unsure about ours.”

“I think you want us there,” Beau presses. “I really do.”

“We have skin in this game, so to speak,” Fjord adds. “We would not put your men or women in a treacherous position if we are right alongside them.”

The Bright Queen gives a small nod. “I’ll consider it. It is a strange request - I did not see you sellswords and adventuring types interested in the details of political negotiation, but if that is your prerogative.”

“We’re not,” Beau says with a shake of her head. “It’s not.”

Fjord clarifies, “We mean to lend an air of accountability.”

“Our objective is our own, and always has been, as Mr. Widogast has just previously stated,” Beau tells her.

“The soul of the Empire is at stake,” Caleb gets out.

“As is the soul of the Dynasty,” Beau adds. “And perhaps, the world at large. We mentioned this when we spoke in the past. Nothing has changed. If anything, all of the information that has gleamed in the past several weeks has proved what we tried to warn months ago, that this war was staged by greater forces.”

“Well, you certainly surprise me, Mighty Nein,” the Bright Queen admits. “Very well. Take this word back to this king, see if they find this scenario accommodating.”

Caleb feels his knees go weak as he realizes what this means. They’re both considering it - peace may be an option. He reaches out, placing a hand on Beau’s shoulder to steady himself.

“One more - just, one more detail, um, would you prefer a sp- a specific date, or should we leave it vague for security reasons for now?” Nott asks.

“We have means of communicating, once you’ve made this contact,” the Bright Queen answers. “But I believe it is the personal touch that ties the threads of this at the beginning.” She glances to Essek. “Essek, you have means -”

“I can communicate with them while they’re on the road,” Essek replies, knowing what the queen will ask. He glances at Jester. “And they have one who is eager to communicate regardless of the circumstances,” he smiles as Jester bows graciously.

“Good,” the Bright Queen nods. “Notify us of the response from the Empire. From there, we’ll handle the details. We’ll let you know when the date is struck, and, ah,” she laughs quietly. “Thank you and good luck.”

Before they leave, she answers Yasha’s question about judgement being stayed on the prisoner for now, and assures Beau that as long as the Empire maintains the ceasefire the Dynasty will maintain it as well.

Caleb bows again once he feels steady enough to do so. “You have our endless gratitude. We thank you for your patience.”

The Bright Queen sits on the throne, putting her staff to the side, and the colder, harsher visage of hers drops like a weight lifted from her shoulders, and when she smiles this time it's soft, like when they had delivered the beacon to her all those weeks ago.

“You are unique,” she says quietly. She waves a hand, motioning towards the back of the room. “Now, go.”

Essek kneels once with everyone bowing as well before he rises and turns, leading them out of the Bright Queen’s throne room.

* * *

As soon as they are in the antechamber and the throne room doors are firmly shut behind them, Essek breathes out a sigh of relief.

“Oh my gosh,” Jester gasps, putting a hand to her head.

“That went really well,” Caduceus smiles.

Jester nods. “That actually went really well.”

“Like, even by the standard, I mean like - I know that we set the bar,” Caduceus makes an arbitrary line in the air, “like a very - I know, I don’t like saying it that often, but like, wow.”

“We normally fuck things up pretty good,” Jester agrees.

“For like a normal bar, that was pretty good,” Caduceus admits.

“Thank you, Caduceus,” Beauregard grins. “I had a good feeling about you in this one - I didn’t want to say it ahead of time, in case I was wrong, but I kinda had a feeling that you would be the one to push us over the edge.”

“But - but let us all take a moment to appreciate the contributions of everyone brave enough in that room to step up before that council and speak,” Essek says, and his eyes land on Caleb, Caleb who had kneeled before the Bright Queen, begging for mercy for the innocent in the face of so much violence. “I, myself, am still impressed of what you managed to push forward. Um,” he exhales, willing his racing heart to settle. “Well -”

“Thank you as well,” Caleb tells him, taking a tentative step closer. “We would not have had as much sway here without your assistance.”

Essek gives him a small nod, feeling undeserving of his gratitude, but knowing he should accept it or risk betraying what he’s feeling. “Of course not - and, strangely, neither would I. So -” and even though it pains him to say it since they just got there, he just got them back, he would much rather stay with them for a handful more minutes and  _ teleport _ them himself. “Do you need a lift back to your, ah, home?”

“A-a lift?” Veth asks.

“To the Empire, I’m - you’ve -” Essek starts, but Veth shakes her head vigorously.

“Oh, oh, oh, oh - no, no, we can do that, we’re actually okay,” Veth assures him.

Giving them a small nod, Essek feels an unexpected tightness at his throat. They didn’t need him. “Oh, alright - sorry, I just assumed, it’s been a - alright.”

“You’ve done so much for us,” Veth reminded him, as Jester also clambored to agree. Caleb watched the three of them fondly, eyes meeting Essek’s for a second before he looked away.

“What were you saying, Caduceus?” Fjord asked, noticing that Caduceus had tried to speak up but was drowned out by Veth and Jester’s rushed words.

“Well, ah, Yasha’s got some shopping we gotta - we should pick up before we go,” Caduceus tells them.

“Her bracers,” Jester nods.

“Oh, yeah, but what time is it?” Yasha asks as they begin to walk through the Lucid Bastion and out onto the evernight Rosohna streets.

“We probably have to get it tomorrow morning,” Veth shrugs.

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll go sleep at the house, and then we’ll head back, is that okay?” Jester turns to Essek.

“Of course,” Essek assures her.

“I can send a message along that we’ve, we’ve had talks, and that, um, you know, we will be arriving tomorrow,” Jester continues.

Beau nods, crossing her arms. “We should do that and reassure the ceasefire and make sure that no one attacks anybody.”

“Yeah - who should I  _ send _ a message to?” Jester frowns, thinking.

“Ludinus,” Fjord and Beau both say, as Caleb ducks his head, whispering his own response of “Ludinus” as well.

“But not tonight,” Veth says.

“No, no, no, I should  _ send _ them a message tonight,” Jester disagrees.

Caleb looks up, “Yeah, as soon as possible.”

“If anyone kills - uh, did you - if anyone kills a Kryn soldier, we’re fucked,” Beau gets out.

Veth nods in understanding. “Yeah, yeah - yeah, yeah, yeah, alright, alright, alright.”

“That is a good idea - let him know,” Essek chips in too. He hopes he doesn’t sound too bitter.

Jester pulls out her wire as they continue walking, creating the  _ sending _ glyphs in the air, before she begins talking. “ _ Oh my gosh, we just talked to the Bright Queen - things are looking good. Maaaaintain the ceasefire, super important. _ ” Her brow furrows as she thinks of her next words _. “Will be arriving tomorrow to talk.” _

“Thank you!” Jester says to no one in particular, clapping her hands. “That’s good! He said ‘well done’!”

He can see the way they match Jester’s beaming smile with smaller ones of their own, and before he even realizes it they’ve arrived at the street where they’re to split off - with the path to his home heading in one direction and the path to the Xhorhaus in the other.

“Bye, Essek!” Jester waves. “You can come by tonight and get some dinner or something, if you want to. We miss you!”

Caduceus and Veth say something to her that he doesn’t quite hear, but he feels like he should decline even as that knot of anxiety loosens in his chest - even though they don’t need him, they still don’t mind having him around. “I appreciate the offer, I have my own work, and research to continue, but well done.” He gives them a smile. “Impressive work. Just hope it sticks.”

They wave their goodbyes to him as he goes, and he easily returns them, and if Caleb’s smile is a little softer and his goodbye a little more reluctant, he doesn’t find it in himself to care who saw that his smile back is just as soft.

The way home feels much lonelier than it usually does, and he’s just barely crossing the threshold when suddenly there’s a voice in his head.

“ _ Essek - we don’t know anything about you, _ ” Jester chimes in. _ “We just realized we should really hang out more. Are you single? Do you have kids? Swipe right?” _

Despite himself, he feels a smile spread across his face. “ _ That was quick, ah,”  _ he pauses, not really sure what to say. _ “I’m not particularly interesting. Don’t like to talk about myself. Don’t worry. Just happy to be around _ ,” he finishes, and he finds himself being completely honest in that. He’s happy to be around - happy to be around them.

And he certainly has no idea what “swipe right” means, probably some kind of Nicodranan slang that Jester will eventually explain to him.

He looks around his foyer, takes in the peace and quiet - the absolute silence of his house - and suddenly it feels too empty. He makes his way to his kitchen, finding the plum wine that he hoped would be good enough - more than good enough, he wanted it to be perfect - before he swept out of his house, excited and warm and happy to be around them once more.

* * *

Now settled into the Xhorhaus and with Frumpkin delightfully snuggled around his neck, Caleb sits on the stairs, watching as Caduceus, Jester, and Yasha prepare for their “rehearsal.” He’s not exactly sure how everything is going to sound when played together, but he is certainly curious.

“Caleb, before we hear this delightful music, which I’m sure is going to be  _ amazing _ ,” Nott says before her eyes narrow, watching him carefully. “Essek seemed okay with you today, right?”

“Um -” his mind instantly takes him back to the entrance of the Dungeon of Penance, to the look of regret in Essek’s eyes. “I don’t - I don’t know.”

“It’s been a while since we’ve seen Essek, and so I don’t know,” Nott shrugs.

“Yeah?” Caleb asks, unsure of where exactly she was going with this.

“He just seemed a little funky back there,” Nott told him.

“I, ah - yeah, maybe I caught a whiff of that as well,” Caleb admitted, feeling the worry he’d tried so hard to keep a bay rise in his chest. “But I don’t know what is bringing it about. We owe him favors.”

“We owe him everything,” Nott agrees.

“And he has not asked,” Caleb adds. “Worth it, though.”

“What do you think - I, I have - I’m a little bit worried,” Not confides in him.

“Tell me,” Caleb prompts gently, dropping his voice so that the rest can’t hear.

“Something in the way he was behaving when we were at that prison was funny to me,” Nott says, and Caleb feels a chill run down his spine. It was the same moment Caleb noticed then. “Do you think it would be a terrible idea, ‘cause many of my ideas are, if I asked Jester to  _ scry _ on that prisoner?”

“Well, the prison is pretty well guarded from that sort of thing,” Caleb starts carefully. “And if it weren’t, I would agree with you.” He swallows down the sudden lump in his throat. “I-I want to be wrong so badly, I think I’m just still paranoid, but I-I have not let my guard down entirely, for him.” He glances away. “But, maybe we are assholes, so.”

“That is true,” Nott nods.

Caleb hopes with all his heart that that’s all it is - that they’re just assholes, that he’s just paranoid. He hopes with all his heart that Essek is fine and that he’s just overworked and tired. And he hopes in the deepest part of his heart that Essek - that Essek -

Then Beau walks around handing out shots, and Caleb doesn’t have to finish that thought.

**Author's Note:**

> and that's that on this one!! this episode had soooo much transcribing to do, and the next ones are going to be even more transcription heavy T.T but hey, once i'm in the zone and I have all the dialogue and I get to run wild, it's soooo much fun!!
> 
> Essek...just Essek man. There's gonna be a lot of fun things to explore with the events of the coming episodes and I am PUMPED
> 
> I really hope you guys liked it!!
> 
> This fic was inspired by:  
> Bathhouses and Bastions | Critical Role | Campaign 2, Episode 90 - 3:05:00 - 3:47:25


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